If I Don't Get This Out Before I Die, I'll Regret It

How using my voice hurts sometimes and I need to pull back

I’m editing my memoir with my mentor.

So, I'm digging my way through fractured memories and inviting the good, the bad and the ugly into the present.

It’s about living with complex PTSD.

❤️‍🩹 The original big T trauma that spanned almost a decade.

❤️‍🩹 The gross, messy aftermath of being in the child protection system mid to late teens in the 90s.

❤️‍🩹 And my many attempts to live a ‘normal’ life through 4 partners & a husband.

Until, I changed the pattern.

❤️‍🩹 Then it’s about taking risks: a round-the-world trip, a bar in Cambodia, a migration to Melbourne, founding a children’s charity…

❤️‍🩹 Finally, it gets to the healing journey that my Melbourne rock-bottom triggered.

Spoiler alert: you can’t outrun your past.

46th Birthday Hairdo this week.

The Memoir So Far

It’s taken 3 years, thus far, to get the story out, to step back for a breather, and now to edit it.

And boy has it hurt. I’ve had to contact friends and family to help me conjure memories to fill in black spots. I’ve re-hurt, re-grieved, and re-released the lot.

I’m back in therapy, deeper meditations and wellness activities to self-soothe. ❤️‍🩹

I’m compelled to finish it, even though I love and hate it.

If was told I had a year to live, this is the thing I’d have to do.

Or wish I’d finished earlier. 🤔

And so it must be my priority.

Thank God For Supportive Soul Sisters: Emily & Kate

What Needs To Change?

Crafting this beautiful beast takes time and space, daily.

Learning the hard way, I can’t do it all.

I teach 4 days a week, I write the book and I run a micro-copywriting business.

Something’s got to give. 🤷‍♀️

I love teaching so I’ll continue. It lights me up and it’s my bread and butter. (Plus I have 6 months’ long-service leave next year.) 😍

The business is making the travel money I hoped it would. I can keep that chugging along in the background.

BUT I must not be chasing clients, be in any kind of growth phase or take any more courses! I have to remind myself of this every time I get on LinkedIn.
The comparison trap is real. 🤯

A New Soul-sister, Sally, Made Through Sharing Our Survivor Stories

So What Now?

I’ve already dialled back the number of clients I work with.

I’m on a lighter load at work (no Year 12) ready for LS leave.

And now, I’m reducing the amount I’m on socials, LinkedIn and this blog.

I’ve decided to share a monthly edition that’s got a little bit of everything: Learn The Wright Stuff, Bloody Good Brands and Let’s Get Loud.

Once a month reflects the size of business, the capacity I have and the results I want.

Any simplification of life buys me focus on the goal that means the most: using my story to help other people heal.

So, that’s it, for a month.

Over and out.

With love.

Mwah. 💋